english

__My Saddest Moment__
It was the dreadful 2000 when I was only 5 years old.I was now allowed to ride on my first bike.It was a very sunny day and nothing was going wrong just riding my bike outside my house.I thought that I would have been alright because it is not a very busy road.

About 5 minutes later just about to go in I decided to go over the road one more time.I left the drive way and no cars were coming so I thought I was all sweet until a car came raging around the corner and that was when it happened.I got hit.I got smashed off my bike.I was flying through the air and hen I hit the ground .I was screaming and swearing and laying on the ground.I got wasted I thought I would have to be taken to hospital but I just had bleeding arms and legs and a smashed back.I was lucky that I did'nt have any broken bones but the ambulance still came around to check if I was alright.All that evening I was laying in bed.The next morning I got to have a week off school but all I could do was watch t.v and just be happy I was alright. Lucky you wern't seriously hurt! Please remember that all numbers are written as words when you are writing and remember to read your work when you are finished to check for errors.

__The Worlds Most Craziest Story__
One day a lady called Mrs Snotbag was going down to the mall while she was walking she seen this hot as guy.Mrs Snotbag ran up to kiss him but he put a frog in front of him to protect him and Mrs Snotbag kissed the frog insted of the man and Mrs Snotbag said "how could you do that to me" the man said "because your ugly". "Oh my god" said Mrs Snotbag so she ran off and jumped onto a donkey and she crashed into grandma. Mrs Snotbag said sorry but grandma called the cops.They took Mrs Snotbag and she had to go to jail.

Grandma came to see Mrs Snotbag to say sorry for calling the cops.In the end Mrs Snotbag and Grandma became really good friends but really Mrs Snotbag wanted to get her back.Like all good story endings Mrs Snotbag got out of jail and went on with her life.

Interesting! I think you might have been able to add more drama with storyline if you had planned it and thought about what events could have happened. Try to remember that you "see" things not "seen." Seen is a word to use when you are talking about the past ten

__**The Ever Lasting Love**__

One day this old man was home alone all by himself. He heard this bump and it scared him he yelled out “ who’s there?” No one answered, so he shouted “WHO’S IN HERE?” No one answered so the old man goes up to the attic and has a look up there. He looks around “come out who ever you are”. No one comes out but then he notices that there is chest laying on the ground, he opens it slowly. He opened it and he saw an old book. He opened it. He sees this little flower. He picked up the flower and began to cry because it reminds him of his mum and what they used to do together. Now that old man is dead the flower still remains by his grave.

by Josh

The Old And Abandoned House

One day there was a old house all by its self. One day some vandals came and tagged the old house and smashed all the windows. Then they ran away and they came back the next day and set the old house on fire. There was nothing left in the house it was all burned down. Now that the old house was not standing the only thing left standing was the old tree that stands next to it. When they came back they all felt really scared because they felt a soul fall upon them. This is really well done Josh  I wonder where your photo came from? Next we will will look at expanding the vocabulary you use.

As I lit the lonely match, All the dancing colours awakened All the colours shone Blue,orange and white all in one. As I watched the flames go dancing by I was just falling into dream I lay there resting while The flames keep burning on. Your writing is getting really good Josh. Are you able to put the photo up as well? give it a go.